Is the Bird the Word?

Well it’s Spring Break for me so I’m just looking back at some strange things I’ve written.  I’ve concluded that I’ve written many a strange things in my life, but this is certainly not one of them.  For those of you familiar with the philosophical writing (and teaching) style of the Medieval Ages, this will make some sense.  For others, simply enjoy =)

We proceed thus to the first article:

Objection 1: It seems that the bird cannot be the word for it is said that “the math indicates that the bird is greater than or equal to the bird.” Therefore the bird cannot be the word.

Objection 2: It is said that “everybody has heard that the bird is the word,” but the deaf undeniably have not heard that the bird is the word. Therefore the bird is not the word.

On the contrary, Peter Griffin sings, “Meg!, everybody knows that the bird is the word.”

I answer that the bird cannot simply be understood to be the word unless the bird is the word. It is common to our knowing that that which is known must first be in the senses, and because no knowledge which is in the imagination without first being in the senses, the knowledge of bird as word cannot therefore be first in the imagination alone. Consider for instance the knowledge that this table is round.  We cannot know that this table is round unless our sight or touch has identified that it is a table and that it is in fact round.  This being the case, no one can know that the bird is the word unless it is first in the senses that the bird is the word. If it is first in the senses that the bird is the word, it must necessarily be the case that the bird is truly the word.

Reply to objection 1: Greater than or equal to are expressions used in this instance to suggest that the bird and the word are two separate existents.  In reality, however, the bird and the word are one and the same being.  Consider when Peter Griffin sings to the lady on the toilet asking her if she knew that the bird is the word and her consequent affirmation that “everybody knows that the bird is the word.”  Notice that the to be verb is is used as a verbal copula to indicate that the subject bird holds the very identity that is also known as word.  Thus, the bird is the word.

Reply to objection 2: In order to hear, one must possess the sense of hearing. Those, who through natural privations lack the sense of hearing are considered deaf. Therefore, when the bird is the word is not heard by those who lack the sense of hearing it is not because the bird is not the word, but that it is because they lack the ability to hear it. Thus it remains true that the bird is the word, even though there are those who are unable to have heard this.

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